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23 December 2010 @ 09:00 pm
Author: oldenuf2nb
Recipient: florahart
Title: When Hippogriffs and Pygmy Puffs Collide
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco
Summary: Harry Potter bakes cakes, brilliantly. Draco Malfoy inks tattoos, brilliantly. Owls deliver post, including messages from clients, with an occasional lack of brilliance.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Warning(s): language, sexual content, perhaps a minor fluff warning
Epilogue compliant? Yes
Word Count: 33,000. I know; 33,000 words, zero angst. So, sue me.
Author's Notes: For those reading who are JKR post canon notes aficionados; Yes, I know she said the only Potter child with green eyes was Albus. Well, in this fic, Lily has green eyes. Yeah, I know. I took artistic license.
Dear Florahart; this is a premise you suggested; Harry the cake decorator, and Draco the tattoo artist. Yes, you read that right. I did incorporate many of your suggestions; Harry is a phenomenal baker, Draco is a gifted artist, and their shops are directly across from one another. There is a mix up with designs, and resulting confusion. There is running out of flour, a celebrity client, and very bad coffee. There is no casual infidelity; there is no infidelity at all. No squicks I can think of, no ‘icky’ bodily fluids, and no dreadful nicknames. Ginny is not necessarily a wonderful creature in this, but I don’t believe she’s a bitch. All in all, it’s about as serious as a meringue and just slightly mad. I hope you enjoy it!

( When Hippogriffs and Pygmy Puffs Collide )
Sometimes You Get Marshmallows: cheerleadingflorahart on December 24th, 2010 05:07 am (UTC)
*laughs for five minutes at notes*


And yes, I am sure I did offer up that premise. It sounds like something I would do.
Sometimes You Get Marshmallows: toddlerfistsflorahart on December 24th, 2010 08:51 pm (UTC)
Aaaaand, back.

So: why on earth would it be bad for there to be zero angst in 33,000 words? (although, I submit there is an ooch over the whole separation/custody issue, but that's pretty wee, but still, how is this bad?_

I love that you took this prompt and went nuts with it. I loved so hard the scene in which the mix-up's person showed up to object (everyone defending everyone FTW). I loved Harry's drawing and the thing that made Draco blinky about it --I wasn't surprised that was there, because Harry is Harry, but I loved that Draco still managed not to know that and so, being the enormous overempathetic sap that I am, I was all verklempt with Draco. I loved the Muggle baking and magic adding-to the cakes. I loved the attitude of the owls. I loved the joint tattooey thing. I could just keep going all day... I loved Scorpius. I loved Scorpius coming in and being all OH MY GOD DNW. I loved why Harry quit, and what he did next--and I loved the parenting all over the place. Only complaint: this fic did not come with the actual scones warm on a plate here at my elbow. This is an oversight, right? Because I require all of the scones in my mouth now pls.

(no subject) - oldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - oldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
lijahlover: Draco/Harry/Love and Lustlijahlover on December 24th, 2010 08:21 am (UTC)
This is one of the best fics it's just brilliant so entertaining. I was actually mad when it ended. I wanted it to go on and on and on. :)
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:38 am (UTC)
Thank you, darling. And if I'd made it any longer, I think the citizenry might have revolted!
disagree - martinstjohn on February 2nd, 2011 01:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
astridfireastridfire on December 24th, 2010 08:33 am (UTC)
I really enjoyed this fic! I loved Harry and Draco's odd careers, and I adored Lily and Scorpius!
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:38 am (UTC)
I'm so glad you liked it!
Scarletscarletscarlet on December 24th, 2010 08:42 am (UTC)
Completely, utterly, relentlessly lovely :). Wonderful! Also, the descriptions of both cakes and tattoos delighted :).
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:39 am (UTC)
Thank you, love!
Alice in Slaughterhouse: draco applemijeli on December 24th, 2010 12:05 pm (UTC)
Draco as a tattoo artist? *drools a bit* OK, I can't wait to read this.
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:39 am (UTC)
YOU are so my hero! When I repost, may I link to your lovely art?
(no subject) - mijeli on January 18th, 2011 11:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
sneakypoo2sneakypoo2 on December 24th, 2010 04:35 pm (UTC)
Oh how I loved this - the hotness, the ink, the frosting!! This little piece of brilliance has stolen quality baking time away from me but I'd do it all again in a heartbeat...
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:39 am (UTC)
I hope your family will forgive the dearth of cookies! Thank you!
kayladiekayladie on December 24th, 2010 06:18 pm (UTC)
I want to marry this story and have its babies!!!

It was EXACTLY the kind of story that I love...witty, charming, funny, and while we had to wait a bit for the smex, very HOT!

I loved the way you brought Harry and Draco slowly around to the same place at the same time in their lives. I loved Lily/Scorpius! I loved both Draco and Harry being such wonderful dads.

In short, I loved everything about this!!
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:40 am (UTC)
I love this comment! Thank you, so much!
valkyrie17valkyrie17 on December 24th, 2010 06:31 pm (UTC)
That was absolutely delightful:)
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:40 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!
Dolimirdolimir_k on December 24th, 2010 08:00 pm (UTC)
Loved this story. Loved the back history and the pacing. I think this may be my favorite story this holiday exchange.
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:40 am (UTC)
Aww, thank you! There are so many good ones, though!
creme_bun on December 24th, 2010 08:10 pm (UTC)
This story is the best holiday present you could give all of us readers .... except I'm hungry for cake and giggly about Draco's Pygmy Puff tattoo!
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:40 am (UTC)
Hehehe, thank you so much!
쉘리 Unmistakably Oatmeal: hp - h/d staringsdkshelly on December 24th, 2010 08:48 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha, what a perfect ending to an incredibly delightful story! I loved this rather more mature Harry and Draco--Draco as a tattoo artist is incredibly sexy, and grown-up Harry is...MROW. Loved the whole ensemble of characters as well, Pansy was so much fun and the side of Scorpius/Lily was adorable too. I really enjoyed this!
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:41 am (UTC)
I'm so glad! Thank you!
Eanelineaeanelinea77 on December 24th, 2010 09:55 pm (UTC)
I enjoyed this very much. I'm a sucker for loving fathers Harry and Draco. I liked that though the divorce between Harry and Ginny was sad, it was amicable. I loved the Astoria/Asteria joke, it was funny.

Harry as a baker and Draco as a tattoo artist was unique. I'd never thought of either one having tattoos (I don't consider the Dark Mark as such) and their final tattoos was great. A reminder of how they got together.

I liked this, and thank you for sharing this with us.
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:41 am (UTC)
Thank you for the lovely comment!
milliesweet on December 25th, 2010 12:43 am (UTC)
oh my.
This totally saved my yule <3.

i'm speechless.
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:41 am (UTC)
Re: oh my.
Oh! Well, I hope it improved for you! And thank you!
nonajfnonajf on December 25th, 2010 02:11 am (UTC)
Great! There were funny bits and wistful bits and romantic bits. I loved the devotion between fathers and their kids. I loved how believably grown up Harry and Draco were. And from the second Draco started purring, he was doomed as far as the bonding tattoo went. LOL!
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:42 am (UTC)
Pretty much, that purr did him in! And thank you!
cleodoxacleodoxa on December 25th, 2010 02:22 am (UTC)
This is so smooth and sweet, it's like a very fluffy fic taken almost seriously so it came out just right; three dimensional with backgrounds and motivations but with that indulgent, in-a-nicer-world quality. You do write very sensuously about cakes; an extra reason why this is a good fic to post during the holiday season. I really liked Harry's tattoo idea, it was so endearing. And you are great at making Harry and Draco sound sexy seen through each others' eyes. Oh, and it was a nice change to see Lily/Scorpius in an H/D fic. Love the vision of Draco being connected to the Weasleys by marriage.
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:43 am (UTC)
I probably write sensuously about cakes because I've never met one I didn't like! And thank you!
magialunacritterel on December 25th, 2010 06:31 am (UTC)
This was such a fantastically entertaining fic. I have only the small complaint that I wanted baked goods through the entire fic but I think that is a common one and something you can't do much about--oh well.

I loved Harry and Draco's careers as well as their attitudes on life. They were just really awesome. Even Ginny was pretty cool in this one up till she pretty much took that job without discussing it with her family. That was a bit much. I can see why she would feel she deserved it--but she should still have talked to her husband first, pretended she cared what he thought. The total not give a shit for anyone was just---wow.

As soon as you had the cupcake scene Draco and Harry were like--WOAH HOT. And, the sex at the end was unbelievably hot. There was one line you gave Harry that had to be THE hottest line I have EVER read in a fanfic. There should be a award for this or something...this one:

" “This is okay for a first round, but I want to take you in my mouth--,” his mouth was right against Draco’s ear, and the wet heat and the promise in his tone had Draco’s balls tightening, “—and my throat. I want to swallow around you as you come. I want to spread your cheeks and find you with my fingers, then my tongue, then my cock. I want to fuck you, Malfoy. Often, hard and long.”

That was OMG HOT.

Absolutely excellent fic. Thanks so much for the fun read!

oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:44 am (UTC)
Thank you, Clare! What a lovely, thoughtful comment!
Zebruizebrui on December 25th, 2010 07:54 pm (UTC)
Mmm... this was pure glorious fun beginning to end. Made my Christmas Eve =) And I'm pretty sure I know who to blame it on ♥ Loved every bit of it!
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:44 am (UTC)
Were you right on who to blame! *g* And thanks so much!
(no subject) - zebrui on January 18th, 2011 04:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Coffeejunkii: joycoffeejunkii on December 25th, 2010 08:50 pm (UTC)
this fic is perfect. it is completely happy-making and i love everything about it!! i love harry and draco and their respective shops, careers, maturity, and bashfulness around one another. i loved lily and scorpius and pansy and the owls and tattoos. without a doubt this is my favorite fic of the fest so far.
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:45 am (UTC)
Thank you, darling girl. And thank you for the lovely rec!
tea0fiendtea0fiend on December 25th, 2010 11:40 pm (UTC)
Wow, that was amazing, I love the way you added magic to the Muggle jobs of baker/tattoo artist, a really interesting idea. But now I, and everyone else want backed goods!

I liked Scorpius/Lily, and Pansy/Neville too, Pansy was rather amusing bless her.

Best fic yet!
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:46 am (UTC)
Awww, thanks! I sure hope you read some of the ones near New Years; they were stunning.
Truthful Plum Logical Horse: [this is how we] live freemegyal on December 26th, 2010 01:29 am (UTC)
It was all so wonderful to read this, but I grinning in a watery fashion at Harry's sketch of his tattoo. *wibbles* Brilliant work.
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:46 am (UTC)
Thank you, love.
misscake: HarryDracomisscake on December 26th, 2010 03:19 am (UTC)
I loved this. The backstory you wove was intricate and believable. The characterizations were great and the whole premise fun and interesting. The description of Harry's tattoo idea brought tears to my eyes. Well done.
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:47 am (UTC)
Awww, thanks so much!
rickey_a: h/d loverickey_a on December 26th, 2010 05:40 am (UTC)
this was like a slash happy ever after epilogue to the epilogue
very sweet :)
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:48 am (UTC)
Thanks! And I sort of prefer this version myself.
boy, why are you crying?ashe_frost on December 26th, 2010 05:55 am (UTC)
Oh! I love their flirting! And how well-written this was. And I thought it was incredibly cute that their relationship was so schoolboy while the kids had a much more adult "Well, it's okay, we'll go talk to the folks" outlook on things. It was fantastic!
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:48 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!
Waxine: Hermione: Hold itwaxbean on December 26th, 2010 07:20 am (UTC)
that was so enjoyable!
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:49 am (UTC)
I'm glad you thought so! Thank you!
Carly: voldiesantacarlatron on December 26th, 2010 04:38 pm (UTC)
What a great fic! I thoroughly enjoyed it, from start to finish. The pace and the tone were perfect. Draco becoming a tattoo artist after desperately going to hide his dark mark was a perfect premise. The demise of Harry and Ginny was handled believably, and gracefully.

Well done. Cheers!
oldenuf2nboldenuf2nb on January 18th, 2011 03:49 am (UTC)
Thank you!!
(no subject) - golden_snitch12 on January 20th, 2011 09:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)