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30 December 2012 @ 06:23 pm
Author: jad
Recipient: cerberusia
Title: Liar
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, Harry/Ginny, Draco/Astoria, Ron/Hermione, misc others
Summary: Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy have always preferred the worst of each other; it was too bad they both had to have better halves.
Rating: NC-17/MA+
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. They're just my playthings of choice :)
Warning(s): infidelity (requested :D), bisexuality, shitloads of UST, denial, lying, angst, D/s, rough sex, hate!sex, guilt, very mild/accidental bloodplay & breathplay, even more angst, and a SPOILER/TRIGGER: [highlight to view] *minor character death; suicide*
Epilogue compliant? Shockingly, yes. In all the worst ways.
Word Count: +/- 50,000
Author's Notes: First and foremost, massive thanks to the mods for giving me the opportunity to pinch-hit in the last Hols, and for their patience as I became a neurotic coffee zombie as the 11th hour drew closer. I would like it to be known that, without my beta S and britpicker-beta combo R (who, by the by, came out of retirement just to do this, since everyone else was booked) following me through gdocs every step of the way, this never would have been ready in time (and any errors you find are mine alone). And finally, a huge kiss for my cheerleaders, for insisting that I really could knock out fifty thousand words in three weeks during the busiest time of the year. You were all fucking amazing, thank you so much for believing in me.

To my dear cerberusia, let me just say: your prompt was close to my heart in so many wonderful ways, I could have cried in happiness. I was absolutely thrilled when I saw your requests, and I hope my translation of your desires is everything you wanted, and then some. Happy H/D Holidays!

( Liar )
(Anonymous) on December 31st, 2012 01:40 am (UTC)
Absolute perfection, highly believable and just gorgeous! loved it!
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on January 22nd, 2013 10:06 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! :)
oakstone730: pic#118166040oakstone730 on December 31st, 2012 02:07 am (UTC)
I started reading this story with my eyes flying from right to left, reading as quickly as I could, but as the page marker sank lower and lower and I realize that it was drawing to an end I had to slow down - because I just didn't want it to end. A brilliant story. Tormenting, angst with needed fluff. I felt for everyone in the story - wanting Harry and Draco to come together but knowing it could only come a tremendous price. The ending just leaves me craving more...

Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on January 22nd, 2013 10:07 am (UTC)
...because I just didn't want it to end

Perhaps one of the biggest compliments a writer can receive. Thank you - I am glad you enjoyed reading it as much as I did telling it! <3

Edited at 2013-01-22 10:07 am (UTC)
sisi_rambles: pic#115243331sisi_rambles on December 31st, 2012 03:28 am (UTC)
This was absolutely fantastic! Everyone was so well written and their actions were utterly believable.

Also lol at Pessimal who even when he visits HP is still a neat man too attached to procedure.
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on January 22nd, 2013 10:08 am (UTC)
Pessimal is actually inspired by a minor character in Terry Pratchett's Night Watch series of the same name. Unfortunately I did not have the time needed to develop his character further, but I am glad you enjoyed him nonetheless. Thank you so much!
(no subject) - sisi_rambles on January 22nd, 2013 11:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
gast84 on December 31st, 2012 03:47 am (UTC)
Heart-wrenching and so believable it hurts. I read the story in one go and felt every little emotions as if they were my own. Thank you so much for sharing!
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on January 22nd, 2013 10:09 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for reading, and for leaving such lovely feedback <3
lala4889lala4889 on December 31st, 2012 05:22 am (UTC)
Fantastic! I laughed and cried again and again. Loved it.
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on January 22nd, 2013 10:09 am (UTC)
Thank you :)
(Deleted comment)
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on January 22nd, 2013 10:11 am (UTC)
This story was as much for my giftee as anyone willing to risk the infidelity warning :) I have to admit, I was worried it wouldn't get much attention/positive feedback considering it's 50,000 words of an affair, but I was pleasantly surprised! Thank you so much :)
ivybelle: Holy Grailivybelle on December 31st, 2012 09:40 am (UTC)
I thoroughly enjoyed this beautifully crafted story! So well told, and with such gorgeous characterisations. I was so drawn in, couldn't stop reading, wanting to find out what has happening - but not too quickly, because I didn't want it to end. Too good!
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on January 22nd, 2013 10:11 am (UTC)
<3 You're too kind, thank you!
(Anonymous) on December 31st, 2012 11:08 am (UTC)
Wow, I really loved this. I think this is one of the best fanfiction stories I've read, ever. Thank you so much!
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on January 22nd, 2013 10:12 am (UTC)
/blush! No, thank you! <3
(Anonymous) on December 31st, 2012 11:09 am (UTC)
Wow, I really loved this. I think this is one of the best fanfiction stories I've read, ever. Thank you so much!
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on January 22nd, 2013 10:12 am (UTC)
Cerberus: General - Lipstickcerberusia on December 31st, 2012 12:08 pm (UTC)

I - fifty thousand words. And that warnings list is everything I could ever hope for in a H/D fic. And fifty thousand words, holy fuckballs.

I will get to this and read it, if not right now then in the next couple of days. Fifty thousand words of infidelity and UST, author you are an angel ♥
Cerberus: General - Lipstickcerberusia on January 5th, 2013 04:25 pm (UTC)
I've now read it twice and I'm still struggling to muster the words. Author, I loved it. I almost certainly don't know you, but somehow you managed to pull out exactly what I like and put it in that fic. The plot, the characterisation, the UST - the side characters were PERFECT. Tracey Davis in particular hit the spot: capable, no-nonsense, sharp, but possessing very human warmth. And a lesbian in a happy, stable relationship, which made me happy for personal reasons :)

As for the characterisation, I don't know where to start. The whole thing, the way you wrote it, was just so believable. Sorry, I'm back to pterodactyl screeching because seriously, seriously, I couldn't have asked for a better birthday-Christmas present. Thank you so much for writing this for me ♥
(no subject) - jad on January 22nd, 2013 10:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jad on January 22nd, 2013 10:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
badcook: happybadcook on December 31st, 2012 02:15 pm (UTC)
I really, really loved this because it reminded me of what made hd-hols the very best fest ever to be held. I loved how Harry was so clearly in love with Draco for so long and being completely oblivious about it or just plain in denial, haha. And I loved how Draco was secretly in love with Harry too and being all snarky still, they're so cute! Lovely author, you write the loveliest things. <3
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on January 22nd, 2013 07:16 pm (UTC)
I was so happy to have a chance to participate in the last hols (having always missed my chance before!), and am happier still you enjoyed the story so much! Thank you, you write the loveliest of comments :)
keleosnoonna: harry potter || HD lovekeleosnoonna on December 31st, 2012 02:16 pm (UTC)
AAAAAH THAT WAS BRILLIANT! That's all I can say cos I still have to catch my breath ♥
What a wonderful way to start the new year!
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on January 22nd, 2013 07:16 pm (UTC)
:D Thank you so much!
(Anonymous) on December 31st, 2012 08:08 pm (UTC)
God, that was brilliant. I swear I'm being utterly spoiled with all the excellent long fics coming out of this fest.

There is so much I love here. Your characterization of Harry for one - he's so competent, powerful, brave in some ways and yet so utterly oblivious in others. Lost and emotionally detached from his 'perfect' life. You can see why he is so drawn to Draco, even as you lovingly characterized Harry's home life as comfortable, sweet, intimate. I appreciated that you didn't make Ginny a villain. Yes, their marriage wasn't perfect. There was lack of communication, but there was also an abiding friendship and understanding about each other, like when Ginny noticed Harry's knee injuries. They had issues, but the kind that could've been resolved, if Harry & Ginny were different people; but they simply weren't in love. You made it clear that they just don't emotionally resonate in the way Draco and Harry does, that she can't give what he needs and vice versa, I think...

I loved how close we followed Harry's mind, and how this illuminated Draco and Harry's completely messed-up love story, while keeping other parts shrouded in mystery (Draco & Astoria's marriage for one. Seriously, would you write a follow-up about Astoria? The possibilities there are making my head spin, I'm so intrigued! Although I kind of like that too, actually. Maybe Draco was right. Maybe just like Harry, we're not meant to know. That's a different story from the love story between the two of them.

Okay, other things i loved: the scope of the story (glimpses over an entire decade that showcases how all the relationships change and function, though blurry around the edges), Draco's characterization - God, his compartmentalization is so canon, freaking amazing Tracey, the well-thought-out functioning of MLE and magical science, the angst & UST (!), the heartbreaking outcome of it all - but am I a bad person or a hopeless romantic for thinking that actually, it was in the end unavoidable? Harry & Draco moved so inexorably closer together it was bound to happen and fall out as it did.You can wish it otherwise, but like Harry said, it'd be unrealistic. I think I share Viktor's view, that as messy as it was, it happened for a reason. The ending is one of hope, I think, for a more (well, not happy, but maybe.. honest and less broken) future. And I loved loved loved this drawing of their relationship. I don't normally like epilogue-compliant fics, but this was just so believable and realistic and tragic and strangely romantic (their romantic weekend, that night of trust and mild breathplay) all at the same time. In my mind, this is how it went.
(Anonymous) on January 15th, 2013 11:50 pm (UTC)
Same anonymous here. Reveals are up, and I KNEW it'd be you. Who uses kink so revealingly and erotically in H/D but you?

I just re-read this story, and fell even more for it, I think. It's odd how utterly obvious it is that Harry and Draco are meant to be together once they find each other, and the entire fic was just this slow train to it - with hearts broken all along the way - but that they would've been okay if they hadn't been together. Completely messed up, obviously, but Harry was... not passionately in love, but comfortable in his relationship. There's nothing greater to Draco than family and commitment obviously, and he would be okay too. But put Draco and Harry together, and it's ridiculous massive fireworks. But just because they're meant to be doesn't mean it's not painful. You straddled the line of not minimizing the infidelity and their families and wives while giving the sheer need and love of H/D as you've drawn them its due.

Please never stop writing H/D. I've always preferred EWE because epilogue fics can never put as much passion as I want in my H/D.... but I think you just single-handedly changed my view on epilogue-compliant fics with this.
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on January 18th, 2013 05:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jad on February 1st, 2013 07:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jad on February 1st, 2013 07:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
CallistianStar: Heroescallistianstar on December 31st, 2012 09:02 pm (UTC)
This was really wonderful. And really long. But the terrible part is (for my own life) that it kept me at the computer screen, keeping me interested. This was beautiful in a way that can't be appropriately described, especially with everyone that was harmed in the process of their affair. While, I remain shocked over Astoria, I am glad that their relationships with their wives weren't terrible, so no blame could be placed on them. Really amazing job. Happy New Year.
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on February 1st, 2013 07:38 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I am sincerely happy you enjoyed it :)
Pureblood Princessraitala on December 31st, 2012 09:32 pm (UTC)
Oh bloody hell! I hope you are ready for one effusive, tipsy, New Years Eve comment. Typing on my phone, so typos aren't all due to drunkenness - shhhhh! Oh my heart, this just grabbed, squeezed and didn't let go in all the right places! Most of all, worst of all, it was so perfectly real! The absolutely heartbreaking truth that what Harry had with Ginny and his family was beautiful and valuable and real, just like what he had with Draco was real and there was no right course between the two. And it was all his fault and he never meant to hurt anyone, but everyone was hurt by him and his choices all the same.

I loved the slow, slow circling of one another through the first half. Literally years of conscious and unconscious denial/repression of their feelings. Again it rang so true, because of the set up, and not like gratuitous reader torture. The point where they give up is so right and so wrong at the same time, it's just perfect and awful and perfect.

All the supporting cast were brilliant. I love Tracy and Ron being a pervert, and the quiditch league and Ginny was genuinely lovely and forthright and a great mum. The kids were adorable and it was great how they were there as a motif in both Harry and Draco's lives, clearly important to them, but not a big part in the story. God, I loved how furiously and possesively Harry loathed Astoria without knowing in the least what he was doing. And I loved, even though you did not dwell on Draco so much, how ruthlessly and tidily he tried to sequester his feelings and make things work out as they should. I loved the difference between them, with Harry, so little self knowledge and such a force of nature with his emotions, trying as long as he could to stay blind; whilst Draco, I imagine so clear sighted and so aware of the price to be paid and loathing himself for it and still helpless to really say no to Harry.

Thank you for a beautiful, wrenching and also glorious read. I think I know who you are and if I'm wrong, all the better!
Pureblood Princessraitala on December 31st, 2012 09:56 pm (UTC)
I forgot to say, I loved that AWFUL christmas lunch. I loved how Harry knew it would be all kinds of awful but couldnt articulated even to himself why that was so and I LOVED how Draco knew EXACTLY why it would be beyond awful, but STILL acquiesced immediately because if Astoria wanted to spend Christmas with her new friend, when she had do few and had given up her family to marry him and so he would not hesitate, even if it was all a slow, unbelievable torture, with Harry glowering and rude and STILL not working out what was going on. Most grammatically awful sentence ever, but at least my phone predictively tidies up my spelling, yes? ♥
(no subject) - jad on February 1st, 2013 08:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
lorena_98: braidlorena_98 on December 31st, 2012 11:39 pm (UTC)
what a brilliant story! thanks so much for writing this epic tale.
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on February 1st, 2013 08:12 am (UTC)
Thank you :)
jaeluvsme: pic#102721073jaeluvsme on January 1st, 2013 01:26 am (UTC)
Such an amazing fic. I spent 5 hours reading this, I couldn't stop. Slow moving, very realistic, and oh so very canon. I usually don't get bothered by infidelity because most writers write how the characters cheat because it's love and all that jazz. But it's not really like that with them, is it? It's a slow progression toward something more profound. And the fact that they both love their wives just twists my heart. Also with them avoiding each other for months but to finally succumb to their desires... So, yes it didn't quite sit well with me.

I do however love the fact that they didn't miraculously fall in love with each other after having sex once. Oh, and I have to say that I really like that they didn't have intercourse from the get go. Because tbh, I've read a lot of fics where they just go at it from the start, and I don't think that's very realistic. Also, who would have thought breathplay could be so hot?

Draco and Astoria are wonderful. I love how he's very protective of her. The fact that she comes first, yes even before Mr. Potter just makes me want to shout that this is exactly how it should be done! Astoria is his wife, a fling with Harry doesn't diminish her importance in Draco's life.

I'm just gonna summarise what I like about this story because if not this comment would be three pages long: Viktor Krum giving advice, Flint being an asshole, Harry's auror partner (forgot her name, sorry) who is very awesome, the kids, the scared interns (lol, i sense some personal experience here) and Astoria. I don't know why, she doesn't even come up a lot in the story anyway, i think it's got to do with how mysterious her character is.

Starting 2013 with an amazingly well-written, well-crafted story is definitely a good thing. Thank you for writing this, I can't praise it enough.
(Anonymous) on January 1st, 2013 05:12 am (UTC)
Exactly what you said!

While I do think he was lying when he said it was just sex, I like you loved the moment Draco goes, "She is my wife! 'We' have nothing to do with this!" (paraphrasing). I love that as real as the affairs and emotions between them may be, Draco loves his wife, that his affair with Harry and being in love with him don't diminish her importance and Draco's love for her, that he will prioritize the commitment he once made for the sacrifices she made for him and the family she carved for him. Emotions are messy, and they cross sometimes, especially when someone as protective of his family as Draco marries someone as fragile as Astoria (and I think she must've been suffering from some form of depression....)

I don't know how you navigated the tricky waters of infidelity so well, honestly, making me pity everyone but root for Harry and Draco anyway...
(no subject) - jad on February 1st, 2013 08:17 am (UTC) (Expand)
ICMezzo: pic#114764502icmezzo on January 1st, 2013 03:26 am (UTC)
Wow. This was fantastic. Wonderfully rich in emotion--pleasure, pain, rage, need--and brilliantly executed. Well done.
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on February 1st, 2013 08:17 am (UTC)
Thank you! <3
laissez les bon temp roulez!;: danrad brathusspakekate on January 1st, 2013 06:30 am (UTC)
I am 95% sure I know who you are mystery writer but I'll keep my guesses to myself. Needless to say, this was fanfuckingtabulous. I want to lock you in a room and force you to write H/D for me all day because this was absolutely perfect. Not just well crafted, but so perfect balanced between keeping with canon and telling an unlikely "lovestory" that was believable. It was never soppy or sentimental or OOC or anything. You get into Harry's head so well. And major props for writing an infidelity fic without shitting all over the wives and making it "their fault", as many of infidelity fics are wont do. I go absolutely ballistic for a good infidelity fic (I don't know why, I'm just weird like that) so when I saw that in the warnings along with "accidental breathplay" I almost fell out of my chair.


That accidental breathplay scene. Can we just stop of a moment and appreciate that? Are we all appreciating that? Because I really really appreciated that. I'd call it sexy, but that seems too base. It was erotic in a way I can't even verbalize right now.

I don't even know what else I want to say, but there are a million more things I'm sure. You'll have to excuse me though, because its just past new years and I've had a bit to drink but overall this was wonderful and I love it so much I want to kiss you on the mouth to express my thanks.

Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on February 1st, 2013 08:20 am (UTC)
Well, hun - I'm curious, did you actually guess me? XDDD (am I that obvious???)

You like a good infidelity fic because you, like me, are a pervert at heart. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

I am pleased beyond words you liked the breathplay. Writing those kinks into fic is always a challenge, because they can be a major turn off for a lot of people... and I like to try and show the light side of kink, because in many ways it demonstrates a level of love and trust that's hard to replicate in more vanilla relationships. (not dissing vanilla. everybody likes a good vanilla now and again, even us kinky folk!)

Thanks so much for the kind words, bb <3
(no subject) - thusspakekate on February 2nd, 2013 05:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
Meri: Meri - Contemplatemeri_oddities on January 1st, 2013 04:14 pm (UTC)
Wow. Excellent Story. Totally believable and in character. I usually don't like infidelity stories, but you pulled this one off with style. Very well done.
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on February 1st, 2013 08:21 am (UTC)
I usually don't like infidelity stories

You flatter me enough just letting me know I managed to write a story that centrally features this that you enjoyed. Thank you so much!
germankitty: event fireworks 1germankitty on January 2nd, 2013 12:54 am (UTC)

Great characterization, and for once a fic that follows through on plot elements -- namely, that even the OTP getting together may not always be all puffy clouds and roses. Terrific job!
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on February 1st, 2013 08:21 am (UTC)
Thanks, bb <3
Mab: Emily in thoughtmab on January 2nd, 2013 09:32 am (UTC)
How much do I love this fic?

I can't even tell you how much! Brilliant work! I'm so impressed that you were able to pull off a 50k pinch hit at the last minute!

Your characterizations of Harry and Draco are perfect. They are so real and flawed. Like others have already said, I don't normally seek out infidelity fic, as the ones I do come across just don't work for me because of either wife-bashing or me not believing the feels, but this! Brilliant work.
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on February 1st, 2013 08:23 am (UTC)
This would be nothing without you, I do hope you realise. I never would have gotten this done without your help. I may write fast, but 50k in three weeks is a GROUP effort, and your cheerleading skills are unparalleled. Thank you again so much for your support during the hardest and most brutal December I've ever lived through!
thisisnotme83: profilethisisnotme83 on January 2nd, 2013 09:56 am (UTC)
AMAZING. Amazing, amazing, amazing. My fave from this fest so far. Has gone straight onto my favourite's list. I can hardly wait to find out who you are, anonymous author, and when I do I'm going to stalk every single thing you've ever written! (Okay, that was not intended to sound as creepy as it does. Think of it in a Harry stalking Draco kinda way. ie, the good kind of stalking).
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on February 1st, 2013 08:23 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! And no worries, I encourage stalking!
claes14: Fuuclaes14 on January 3rd, 2013 12:32 am (UTC)
Brilliant, that's all I can say about this story.
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on February 1st, 2013 08:24 am (UTC)
Thank you :)
danimatidanimati on January 3rd, 2013 01:33 am (UTC)
Oh, what a wonderful story! I must say that it ruined (in a good way!) my first working day of 2013, because I just had to read a little bit more of it before replying to that important email from my boss... and then at some point I realized I really would not be able to not finish and gave up and went to gym and read it why walking and I was walking for two hours and that had never happened before in my life because I couldn't stop reading it!

So, yeah, I guess I made my point about how much I appreciated this story. ;) Now, about what was amazing about it, I just want to cite a couple of things... some of them are things that really make a good story for me: I prefer to read stories that show how Harry and Draco matured, and how they actually crossed that line from clear animosity to tolerate each other, to actually appreciate each other and then more. In this sense, I'm not picky about Epilogue Compliant fics, but if I am honest, I actually prefer them, because it does make sense to me that Harry would marry Ginny after the war... Not sure if he would have 3 kids until he actually realized he wanted to stay with Draco :) but anyway, my point is, what you made here, was brilliant and I don't really want to repeat with other readers have already said, because you'll get tired of reading this and I really really wanted to say how great it was... ***SPOILER ALERT*** ... that Draco could actually cast the Patronus but wouldn't tell Harry because he was too embarrassed. But that he still meet him every other Sunday to "train". That he was dying to have Harry fuck him, but he was patient with Harry. That "he didn't break easily" - oh, God, that actually made me shiver. :D This was such a great roller coaster with all the sweet ingredients to make it a perfect ride, including the necessary imperfection of it all.

Thank you much for writing this, I hope you have a wonderful 2013.
Jad: HMS Guns n Handcuffs || H/Djad on February 1st, 2013 08:27 am (UTC)
I am proud to have made you procrastinate work! :D

Thank you so much! In truth, I honestly never saw Harry marrying anyone (except, perhaps, Luna, but I won't get into that here...) after the war, much less having kids. To me, he never would have fully recovered, and dived into his work and basically lived only for the job. But hey, that's just me. And my version of EWE canon. Also leaves the possibility for fucking Malfoy on the side, too...

I'm happy that comment resonated with you :) Malfoy's such a slutty sub in this, I wish I had time for more of it XDDD