hd_hols (hd_hols) wrote in hd_holidays,


Author: morganmuffle
Recipient: snarkyscorp
Title: Desperation
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco. Mentions of past Harry/Ginny and Draco/Astoria. Also mentions Ernie/Hannah
Summary: Just how far will Draco go to protect his son when he gets mixed up with an illegal potion trading ring and can Harry really understand his desperation?
Rating: R/NC-17
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Warning(s): violent, coercion (dubious consent)
Epilogue compliant?: Yes – all events take place several years after the epilogue of DH
Word Count: 2,915

With thanks to S for the beta, all mistakes are very much my own.

"So can we get this over with?"

Draco pushed away from the wall and stepped towards Harry.

"Not that I don't enjoy spending quality time with you but there are places I'd rather be."

Harry frowned in confusion and then in horror as Draco's hand gripped the waistband of his jeans.

"What the hell!?" Harry jerked back angrily. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Keeping my son out of prison," Draco spat out in a parody of Harry's voice. "Just like you called me here to do."

"Keeping..." Harry trailed off. "You didn't honestly think I was asking you to... to do that to keep him safe? That I'd let him into your custody if I thought he was likely to mess around with those potions again or that I'd want sex in return for it?!”

Harry felt a wave of revulsion rush over him and he took another step backwards away from Draco who was still standing in front of him looking surprisingly uncertain.

"I thought...Fucking Gryffindors. What is it you want from me then? Can't be money, really, can it." Draco's eyes flicked almost unconsciously to his battered shoes. "I suppose you just want to humiliate me some more. Didn't get enough in the courtroom playing the magnificent hero again as I had to beg and plead and make all those bloody promises for my son."

“I just thought...” Harry brought his hands up, unconsciously forming a barrier between him and Draco. “I wasn’t being a bloody hero, I was doing my job, in case you’d forgotten, and I just thought having an Auror on your side might make this easier.”

Harry watched Draco as several unidentifiable emotions flashed across his face.

“I’ve got kids, too, remember.” Harry’s hands fell to his sides. “I have to check up on him and you, if you remember some of those promises you made, and I thought it’d be easier somewhere quiet than it would be at the Ministry.”

“This is all just your generous nature showing, then, is it?”

Harry flinched at the bitter note in Draco’s voice.

“Completely selfless, offering aid to that Malfoy bastard and his poor misguided son.”


“Save it, Potter. Even if I might have believed that once it’s hardly likely I still believe it after the last time you got me alone ‘somewhere quiet’.”

Harry felt the blood rush from his face as the memory rushed back.

The hotel appeared to be completely empty despite the names in the register downstairs, and as Ernie pushed the last door open, Harry knew their approach must have been betrayed.

“Complete waste of time,” Ernie said, kicking at the doorframe. “I could be at home with my wife on our wedding anniversary and instead I’m in a bloody awful wreck of a hotel with you.”

“Not exactly my first choice of a great evening out either, Ernie.”

Harry turned and scanned the empty hallway again.

“It was a good tip though. I’m sure they were here, just look at how terrified that guy at the door was.”

Ernie shrugged and started to make his way back towards the stairs.


Harry slammed a fist into the wall making the plaster crumble.

“We’ve been chasing this ring for weeks and the first good tip off we get and they’ve scarpered and Merlin knows when we’ll get another and if that informant was right they’ve managed to drag in some kids and…”

“I know.” Ernie looked as defeated as Harry felt. “Fifteen or so they said, same age as your Albus or my Susie. We’ll get them in the end though. You know that.”

Harry shook his head tiredly.

“Listen, you go ahead mate, back to Hannah, I’ll give this dump a last look and write it up. Gin’s got the kids till next week anyway, so it’s not like I’ve got a better offer.”

Looking slightly sympathetic Ernie opened his mouth, perhaps to offer to stay, but clearly thought better of it and turned back to the stairs.

“Just try not to step on any cockroaches.”

As Ernie’s voice filtered back up the stairs Harry looked at the grey corridor and the equally grey doors. It really was a depressing sight and they’d been so sure they’d get at least a sighting of one of the bastards involved in the illegal potions ring. Still it had been fairly obvious from the moment they arrived nobody was there anymore and now with the support all stood down and Ernie gone Harry was left to try and pick up any fragment of a clue he could.

He took a step towards the first door, the biggest of the rooms and one that had appeared taken on the register downstairs, and the stopped abruptly.

For a moment there was silence in the corridor and then Harry heard the sound that had stopped him again. It was only faint, just the hint of someone’ breathing heavily or maybe only the whisper of cloth moving against itself but there was definitely something moving in the room.

Swiftly and silently he entered the room and his eyes fixed immediately on the large wardrobe in the corner. Ernie had sent the doors flying open earlier but looking again Harry could see the thing had a false back.

Ostendo Occultus.

The false wall of the wardrobe flew apart and Harry reached for the wizard cowering there. In a flash, he had him pinned, face against the wall and wand in Harry’s hand.

“Not even going to put up a fight? I suppose a creep who sells illegally potions to kids is bound to be a coward.”

“Not a fucking coward.”

The trapped wizard tried to push away from the wall and as his head turned slightly Harry recognised him.


He allowed Draco just enough space to turn, both wands still clutched tightly in his hand.

“Potter,” Draco spat out his name. “Should have bloody well known the way you broke through that shield. My wand’s never been the same.”

Draco lunged forwards again but Harry pressed his arm against Draco’s chest and neck leaving him spluttering for breath.

“I knew you were a cowardly little creep but I thought you’d have had more sense than to get caught up in something so illegal and dangerous. Right on the edge of losing what little you have left, aren’t you?”

Harry could just make out the sharp edges of Draco’s face, thinner than it had ever been at school, and feel how Draco’s hipbones dug into him as he rested most of his weight against his struggling form.

“Not. Losing. Sc…”

Draco’s words seemed forced from his struggling lungs and Harry finally relented a little, pressing instead against Draco’s shoulders.

“You took our house and our possessions and your lot hounded my father to death and my mother to near insanity and my wife…”

Draco spat in Harry’s face and in an instant Harry pulled back his arm and punched Draco.

“Typical.” Draco started to laugh even as blood trickled from his lip. “Auror brutality. Here I am minding my own business and…”

“Minding your own business?! You think I believe that? We KNOW what’s been going on here, Draco.”

“You don’t have a clue what’s been going on here.” For a moment Harry thought he saw Draco pale. “I’m not stupid, I know if I upset those masters of yours I’ll lose everything. The last contact with my son.”

Harry stared at Draco. He could see the last words hadn’t been meant for his ears exactly but he’d heard them all the same.

“And yet here you are skulking in a hotel room, hiding from Aurors…”

“Trying to fucking leave more like.”

Draco kicked Harry’s legs hard and with an almighty push managed to free himself.

Cursing his momentary lack of attention Harry turned and threw a spell at Draco, knocking him off his feet and onto the floor. Before he could immobilise Draco, though, he felt Draco grab at his ankles and pull him over.

Immediately Draco wrapped his legs around Harry and tried to reach his wand.

“Fucking Potter.” Draco sounded desperate. “Just let me go!”

“Never! Assaulting an Auror is…”

Draco caught Harry in the chest with his elbow knocking his breath out of him and sending both wands flying across the room.

There was a heartbeat of silence before Draco tried to break away with a yell but their legs were still tangled and Harry wrestled him back to the floor.

Harry swore loudly as Draco tried to get free, biting and kicking and scratching, but he knew he couldn’t let Draco get to his wand. Unfortunately, Draco’s desperation seemed to be giving him more strength than Harry would have believed.

“Just LET ME GO!”

Draco yanked hard on Harry’s hair and managed to pull both arms free as Harry’s head fell against the wall with a bang.

“Not a chance!”

Harry tightened his legs around Draco’s and tried to make a grab for his arms again but his head spun violently as Draco’s fingers scratched at him and then he felt a sharper pain against his collarbone.

“Stay very still.”

Harry could hear the way Draco’s voice had turned to steel and he tried desperately to focus on whatever was in Draco’s hand.

“Just let me go and I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to GO.”

Harry realised with horror that he believed Draco, both that he didn’t want to hurt Harry and that he had nothing to do with the circle, but he couldn’t just let him leave without an explanation.

“You know I can’t, Malfoy.”

Harry tried to keep his voice steady as his eyes finally focussed on the small sliver of metal in Draco’s hand and the trickle of blood running down Harry’s chest.

“I know you won’t, you idiotic, bull-headed Gryffindor.”

Harry tried to move his arms and grab at Draco but he could feel the sharp edge now against his neck and he knew how little it would take for Draco’s hand to slip.

“I can’t let you leave without finding out what you know.” Harry swallowed and felt the edge press tighter as Draco’s hand kept steady and his gaze stayed fixed on Harry. “You must have seen something even if you’re not involved.”

Harry forced himself to breathe naturally as Draco watched him.


Draco’s weight shifted on Harry pressing against him uncomfortably, and not so uncomfortably.

“I… I can’t tell you anything. There’s nothing…”

For a moment Draco sounded completely uncertain and then suddenly he laughed and shifted again.

“You’re actually getting fucking turned on, aren’t you, Potter?”

Harry tried to shake his head but the blade nicked his skin and he hissed.

“Don’t lie. It’s not like we don’t all know exactly why the Weaselette left you. Spread all over the gossip pages like that with that Quidditch stud.”

Draco laughed nastily.

“You read about me much, then?” Harry tried to sound calm and his eyes darted about for something to help him.

“Everyone reads about you. The Boy Who Gets Fucked.”

Draco rolled his hips again leaned in close to Harry’s ear.

“Perhaps that’s what you want. Is that why you forced me up against you? Is that why you can’t let me go? Want to be fucked by someone so desperately?”

“No… Just stop…”

Harry could hear the panic in his own voice.

“No. Perhaps not. But you do want me.” Draco’s smile was far too knowing. “And perhaps if I can’t fight you to get out of here…”

Before he realised what was happening Harry found his mouth covered by Draco’s as Draco bit down, hard, on Harry’s bottom lip.

“Fuck. Malfoy. That’s…”

“…the general idea?”

Harry could still feel the blade pressed against his skin as Draco slowly moved his other hand between them and reach for Harry’s flies.

As Draco’s fingers curled around Harry’s cock he gasped. He tried to raise his head but the blade was still there, maybe slightly less tight against his skin now but still a presence and Harry’s head was still spinning.

“Maybe,” Draco slowly shifted backwards. “We can come to some arrangement?”

Harry suddenly realised that Draco was moving because he had relaxed the grip with his legs and he reached out blindly, grabbing a shoulder and Draco’s hair but Draco didn’t seem to be trying to pull away completely.

“If I do you a favour?”

Harry couldn’t quite work out Draco’s words but then very suddenly the blade scraped down across his chest as Draco opened his mouth around Harry’s cock.


Harry wished his voice sounded more like a shout and less like a moan but Draco’s mouth was still moving down his cock, taking him all in, and he could feel the edge of the metal pressing against his abdomen.

For one wild moment Harry wondered where on earth Draco had learned how to suck anyone’s cock but before he could ask or remember where he was or that he was supposed to be trying to move he felt Draco’s free hand cup his balls and squeeze gently and Harry’s head fell back to the floor as he arched into the touch.

Draco’s mouth was hot and wet as he took Harry in deep and then pulled off completely, teasing with his tongue at Harry’s balls and along the length of his cock before swallowing it back down again.

Already wound up with the earlier frustration and the friction of their wrestling match, Harry gasped and tightened his hand in Draco’s hair as his whole world seemed reduced to the feel of Draco’s mouth and the bite of the blade.

As Harry felt the heat and need begin to pool in his belly and tingle along his spine, Draco let his finger press behind Harry’s balls and further back and Harry tried desperately to pull Draco’s head away but with Draco’s concentration slipping the blade cut into the soft skin of Harry’s inner thigh and without a warning he came.

As the wave of orgasm crashed over him Harry could already feel Draco pulling away but by the time he could focus again Draco was standing at the other side of the room holding both their wands.


Harry’s voice seemed to catch in his throat.

“I just want to go. I need to find…”

For a moment it looked as if Draco was going to continue, and Harry could see fear alongside the desperation in his eyes, but without another word Draco threw Harry’s wand back to the floor and Apparated away.

Lying on the floor, staring at the empty spot where Draco had stood, Harry tried to get his breathing back under control and pressed a finger to the small cut on his collarbone.

“That was why you were there that night. Looking for Scorpius.”

“Of course it was, you idiot. Why else?”

“You could have just…” Harry ran his fingers through his hair, remembering the way his scalp had stayed sore for days afterwards. “You could have told us, or reported it rather than going or… we could have got them so much faster with your help.”

Draco laughed bitterly.

“And you’d have believed me? If I’d walked into an Auror’s office and said my only son had been led astray by criminals your precious Ministry would have believed me?”

Draco stepped forwards, close to Harry again.

“If they hadn’t arrested me there and then on the spot they’d have thrown me out. Everyone knows about the Malfoys. Criminal father, lunatic mother, absentee wife.”

Harry opened his mouth to argue but Draco shook his head and turned away.

“I would have believed you.”

Harry gripped Draco’s shoulder and held it tightly.

“Nobody wanted to stop them more than me.”

Draco turned in Harry’s grip and stared at him, some still unidentifiable emotion flickering behind his bitterness and weariness.

“No you wouldn’t have and no you weren’t. It wasn’t your son.”

“I just want to help. I’d do anything for my children and I just want to…”

Harry squeezed Draco’s shoulder, willing him to believe that he understood and Draco looked at him, eyes wide open and expression carefully blank.

“I want to help,” Harry repeated and then pressed his lips against Draco’s.

Draco’s eyes fluttered closed and Harry felt a tidal wave of emotions surge up in himself mixed with confusion and fear. Draco’s hands moved to Harry’s chest and he paused for a moment before pushing as hard as he could and backing away.

As Harry regained his balance he saw Draco’s wand was already raised and that angry look was back.

“I knew that was what you wanted. Pervert.”

“That wasn’t…”

“Save it, Potter. You turned me down and you don’t get a second chance.”

“But I…”

“I said save it!”

Harry noticed Draco’s hand seemed to be trembling slightly and he stepped forwards.

“No closer or I’ll do something we’ll both regret.” Draco swallowed and visibly forced a sneer back onto his face. “I think our future meetings should be in Ministry approved locations, don’t you?”

Harry opened his mouth to argue again but Draco shook his head again and, before Harry could react, Apparated away.

As Harry turned to leave himself he wondered just what had happened and he tried hard to fight the slowly dawning realisation that what he’d seen in Draco’s eyes had been hope and regret.

Just what had he turned down?
Tags: [fic], epilogue compliant, genre: dark, rated: nc-17, round: winter 2009

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
← Ctrl ← Alt
Ctrl → Alt →
← Ctrl ← Alt
Ctrl → Alt →