Title: Everything He Wanted
Pairing(s): Harry Potter / Draco Malfoy
Summary: Harry spent the summer before 8th year rebuilding Hogwarts, but if there was one thing Harry had not expected to find, it would have been stepping out on the grounds one morning to see Draco Malfoy wrist deep in dirt, planting new trees in the Forbidden Forest.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Warning(s): Minor ust/angst depending how you see it. Fluff with a happy ending.
Epilogue compliant? No, but canon until the end of the Hogwarts Battle.
Word Count: 1,835
Author's Notes: My first exchange-fest and it is scary!
Harry told himself that this was the last time. Yes, he had said that before, but this time he meant it – well, he should mean it this time anyway. Harry knew this meant more to him than it should. He was falling hard when this was all supposed to be about sex, not emotions. If Harry didn’t walk away now he was going to get hurt.
It was hard enough pretending that not every touch felt like a revelation, that not every word was feeding this love that shouted inside of him to be uttered. Everything felt all right when Harry had him in his arms, to feel loved and taken care of. An hour a night to pretend that he was someone’s everything.
But he knew that dawn was coming sooner than he wished for and his lover would already be in his own bed, getting ready to pretend nothing had ever happened between them – until the next night anyway, when he would crawl into bed with Harry again and feed the fire inside of him.
The late autumn air was crisp and Harry was shivering by the time he found his way under the covers. Now he just had to wait. The waiting was always the hardest part. Would he come tonight or had he, too, realised how wrong this was and decided not to cross the room and join him in bed?
They had all been rebuilding Hogwarts for months now and it was going agonisingly slow, even with the aid of magic. But there was something about hard physical work that made the aftermath of the war easier to handle, something to keep both your body and mind away from all the grief. Almost every single student, past, present and future had come in turns to do what they could for their old home, and that sight had warmed Harry immensely.
If there was something Harry had not expected to find, it would have been stepping out on the grounds one morning to see Draco Malfoy wrist deep in dirt, planting new trees in the Forbidden Forest. It was true that not all Slytherins had been on Voldemort’s side and a lot of them had returned to help them not only during the battle, but with the rebuild as well. But Harry had never thought that Malfoy would be a part of that. He hadn’t really been on the dark side of the war, but he hadn’t been with the light either. Harry supposed he’d only been trying to save himself during the battle, doing whatever he thought would help him. When he saw Malfoy leave the grounds that morning after the battle, he was sure that Malfoy would never return there. Too many bad memories for him, yet here he was, helping nonetheless.
It turned out that few people actually wanted to be near a Death Eater, even an unwilling one. Harry had heard rumors about Malfoy not being welcomed at home anymore and he already knew that the ministry had control of their vaults. Harry couldn’t imagine how lost Malfoy must have felt, and what would he have done had he not been welcomed as a volunteer at Hogwarts? That night, Harry had talked to Headmistress McGonagall, taking responsibility for Malfoy and offering to share both his room and workspace so that he would be allowed to stay.
After a shaky start between him and Malfoy, he found out they actually worked pretty well together. True, they did not engage much in talking, but there was something in Harry that felt some sort of connection with Malfoy. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he figured they had been growing up beside each other and now, when they had put all the childish animosity behind them, Harry could actually see that maybe Malfoy’s path as a Death Eater was laid out for him in the same way Harry’s path as the Savior had been.
Harry didn’t know what was special about the night when it all started. He’d gone to bed before midnight, the same as every other night. Malfoy was still reading in the bed next to his when he finally fell asleep. The next thing Harry noticed was someone sitting down next to him. He looked up to see Malfoy stare down at him with a fire in his eyes. Malfoy put his palm against Harry’s chest and he started to feel the fire burning in himself as well. Malfoy whispered a strained, “Please, let me,” and Harry knew he was going to be mortified if he interpreted this wrong, but he had to take the chance because this fire had almost engulfed him. Harry stretched out his hand to grasp Malfoy’s neck, then he pulled him down for a kiss that, thank God, Malfoy responded to with a groan.
Malfoy felt amazing. It was a feeling Harry had never felt in his life before. The kisses were hard and demanding and at the same time they were pure and electrical. Malfoy owned him in that moment and Harry never wanted to take back control. After all this time, after everything that had happened in his life, it felt marvelous to be taken care of, to not feel the pressure of the world on his shoulders. Harry had never had a connection that strong with anyone in his life, and Harry fell, against his better knowledge.
They had lain in bed snogging the better part of the night and they couldn’t keep their hands away from each other. Somehow Harry must have fallen asleep, because he woke up in the morning in an empty bed. Malfoy was in his own.
Harry didn’t know what would happen after they had spent the night together – most likely awkwardness. But Malfoy had started the day as any other, pretending nothing happened. Harry spent the day looking at him, trying to get some kind of acknowledgement that it hadn’t just occurred in his head. Harry was seriously questioning it all at the end of the day. Until Malfoy crept into his bed again after midnight.
Snogging had turned into frotting that had turned into wanking and after a week, they had regular sex. The first time Harry had felt Malfoy inside of him was something that he’d never forget. It was what he thought an epiphany would be like. Suddenly, Harry could see the man before him in a different light. He could see how there had always been a spark between them just waiting to be lit, he could see how both of them had grown into something better and he could see that he was in love with Draco Malfoy and didn’t want to let him go.
That night, Harry had locked eyes with Draco almost in an attempt to search his soul. He needed to see if there was something in there that could feel the same for Harry. The returning gaze from Malfoy made Harry weak and when he moaned “Draco” for the first time, he could feel him shudder and come inside of Harry.
Draco still pretended that nothing had happened the next morning, despite the connection Harry was sure he had felt between them.
They had been together for almost three months now, sharing a bed, at least for a few hours a night. Harry knew he had to let Draco go. He couldn’t be here for Draco to shag anytime Draco felt like it when Harry wanted so much more.
Harry wanted to spend his days with Draco as well as the nights. He wanted to go through the castle holding his hand, to kiss him at lunch, to stroll down Hogsmeade or just share a lazy afternoon together on the grounds. He wanted to be Draco’s in every single way when 8th year would begin in a few weeks. But Draco didn’t want any of that. Harry couldn’t imagine how it would be to leave this room he shared with Draco. To go back to the Gryffindor dorm and only see glimpses of him during class.
Harry didn’t feel Draco slip under the covers. His mind was on the imminent heartbreak he would surely feel any day now.
“What are you thinking about?” Draco whispered although they were the only ones in the room.
Harry didn’t want to bare his soul only to be rejected, but he desperately wanted Draco to know how he felt, so Harry had to take a chance.
“Not something bad I hope,” Draco said with a strained smile.
Harry took a strengthening breath. “Why don’t you ever stay?”
“What do you mean?”
Harry reached up and stroked the worried lines on Draco’s forehead.
“You leave me, my bed, every night. When I wake up in the morning you’re always in your own bed.”
“I…” Draco hesitated. “I didn’t think you wanted me to stay.”
Harry didn’t say anything, he only stared at Draco’s serious face.
“I mean,” Draco started, you haven’t asked me to stay. And you haven’t really made it clear you wanted me to stay. It’s always me sneaking over to your bed. You haven’t even approached me during the day even though we work beside each other.”
“But I do!” Harry was flustered. “I want you to stay. I want you to come to me and I want you to stay! I assumed you didn’t want to talk about it when you always returned to your bed.”
They stared at each other for several minutes before Harry broke the silence.
“So… I might be slow here… but does that mean you want this? Want me? I mean as something serious?”
“Of course, what did you think all this meant? Do you think I share a bed with anyone?” Draco sounded affronted to Harry and he guessed he could see why.
“I didn’t mean that, I just… I fucking love you! I think I’ve loved you from that first touch. I never thought you wanted me for me, but that you just wanted someone. I guess that’s not the first, nor the last time we’ve made assumptions wrongly.”
“This is gonna need a lot of work, right? Us?” Draco smiled.
“Yes! And just wait until all the students return!” Harry laughed.
“Right! What are we gonna do about that?”
“I hear that the Room of Requirement has healed itself.” Harry tried to sound suggestive.
“So you’ll still have me when your friends have returned?”
“I think the ‘I fucking love you!’ implies that, Draco. Promise we’ll make this work between us!”
“Yes. We’ll make this work. And Harry... I love you too, you know. So, do you want to make the best of our time left alone?” Draco waggled his eyebrows.
“How about we just hold each other?” Harry whispered. “You won’t leave, right?”
“I’ll be right here in your arms when you wake up in the morning. I promise, love.”
Harry kissed Draco before settling in his arms. There was still time for him to get everything he wanted.