Title: The Business of Shagging Harry
Pairings: Harry/Draco, Blaise/Pansy; past canon and non-canon het and slash pairings
Summary: Draco is an elite purveyor of adult wizarding entertainment. When a fake memory of Harry Potter in flagrante delicto becomes a sensation, Draco sees an opportunity to make a killing — if only he can get his hands on a real one. Problem is, no one is giving up the goods. What's a self-respecting pornographer to do?
Disclaimer #1: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Disclaimer #2: The wizards who produced the fake memory in the story are entirely unfamiliar with the Muggle song "Love to Hate You" by Erasure. They care not one whit about 'copyright,' whatever that might be.
Warnings: Graphic sexytiems. Too much meta. Shameless parody of H/D fandom and of a certain silly porn video.
Epilogue compliant? Not in the slightest.
Word Count: ~15,000
Notes: Happy H/D holidays, saladita12! I was thrilled to receive your assignment. You asked for Auror!Harry, Unusual Job!Draco, an NC-17 rating, and humour, among other things; I hope I delivered on at least a few of your requests. Cheers!
Much love and gratitude to K., E., and M. for midwifing this daftness into being.
( The Business of Shagging Harry )