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13 December 2012 @ 11:23 pm
Author: pir8fancier
Recipient: jamie2109
Title: Eye of the Beholder
Word Count: 22,450
Rating: R
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Warning: Sexual acts occur between consenting adults
Summary: Draco Malfoy has written an explosive autobiography. Not only does lay bare his role as a Death Eater, he also makes a number of other shocking revelations. Harry Potter owls him, asking that they meet for drinks to discuss his novel.
Author’s Notes: For jamie2109, who requested the following: bottom Draco, some angst with some romance, and a happy ending. Hope I hit all your requests. Enjoy! I’d like to thank my beta, who shall remain nameless for now. Much appreciated, my dear!

( Eye of the Beholder )
Mab: Emily in thoughtmab on December 14th, 2012 09:41 am (UTC)
This fic is mesmerizing! It captured me from the start and is hands down my favorite fic of hols to date! I really enjoyed the first person narrative. I love Draco's voice in this and how he's grown from the boy we knew in canon. Harry broke my heart. I love the open ending you left off with. The whole experience was oodles of fun and full of all the feels.

And Guh ... the sex ... fan-bloody-tastic!
pir8fancier on January 23rd, 2013 05:30 am (UTC)
I love Draco's voice in this and how he's grown from the boy we knew in canon

I think that this is potentially the flaw with first-person POV because if the author's "voice" isn't how you, the reader, "hears" him, then all is sunk. But it's also an excellent way to get that intimacy we need to see the now-grown man who used to be that rather awful brat.

The whole experience was oodles of fun and full of all the feels.

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(no subject) - pir8fancier on January 23rd, 2013 05:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
omi_ohmy: Winter branchesomi_ohmy on December 14th, 2012 10:50 am (UTC)
I love being surprised by a fic, and this story has surprised me in so many ways. The use of first person is startling but it works so very well, the phrasing is adept and more anything, I feel like I've had hte chance to burrow into Draco's soul. There was a moment when he puts down his drink, for fear of breaking the glass, and it was perfect. It summed up how nervous he was, how close to the edge, and at the same time his years of life experience, his ability to control himself. Draco was such a marvellous contradiction of all these things: cast-iron control, maturity, yet at the same time an inability to understand himself emotionally, a little removed from his life beyond the superficial aspects of it.

The pairings were new and unexpected, yet somehow I was happy to accept them all. It felt like I experienced Draco's surprise alongside him. I liked how none of the relationships were easy, how nothing was taken as a certainty. This was a masterful portrayal of an older Draco, and I loved it.
pir8fancier on January 23rd, 2013 05:28 am (UTC)
I feel like I've had hte chance to burrow into Draco's soul.

I don't think that every character works in first person POV. I couldn't write Harry in first person to save my life. But Draco works for me for precisely this reason. This is a character that we only see from Harry's limited POV for seven books, so in order for the reader to attain an emotional intimacy with him, I think it works better for me to write in him first person. It's doesn't work for a lot of readers.

This was a masterful portrayal of an older Draco, and I loved

Thank you so much!

jamie2109: H/D - Draco captivatingjamie2109 on December 14th, 2012 12:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for this! I thoroughly enjoyed it. Draco was lovely and I enjoyed his characterisation but it was a shame we rarely saw Harry as we had no time to get to know him. But Draco was a gem and I thank you sincerely for that. <3
pir8fancier on January 23rd, 2013 05:26 am (UTC)
I do apologize for leaving Harry a litlte vague. I have a hard time getting a handle on him, especially since Draco's voice is a tad loud in my head. Hope it scratched all your other itches! Best wishes for the New Year!
Appleling: Appleling icon1appleling on December 14th, 2012 03:46 pm (UTC)
Guh... *glazed eyes* I can't find words good enough to express my utmost squee at...ALL THIS. I don't know what to say, except: THIS IS MY MOST FAVOURITE EPILOGUE COMPLIANT FIC TO DATE!!

Edited at 2012-12-14 03:54 pm (UTC)
pir8fancier on January 23rd, 2013 05:25 am (UTC)
What a nice thing to say. Thank you so much!
Marianne: defaulteidheann_writes on December 14th, 2012 04:14 pm (UTC)


I don't even... This was amazing. I adored Astoria. Draco broke my heart. Harry was so wonderful... Guh, everything about this was... I don't even have words.

pir8fancier on January 23rd, 2013 05:24 am (UTC)
Thank you!
robinellen: owlrobinellen on December 14th, 2012 06:56 pm (UTC)
Great story! I love how it's realistic and still sweet -- how they fit despite the uncertainties. I love how both of them find what they're truly looking for (and needing) in each other. I think your supporting characters are also well-done. I like how you take aspects of canon characters and really flesh out their possibilities (I often wonder if Hermione would become a huge nag and how Ron could ever stand that, for instance). Well done all around! :)
pir8fancier on January 23rd, 2013 05:24 am (UTC)
I'm stupidly wedded to canon (only up to a point, obviously), so yeah, I have to write them as they are presented and they put on those slash goggles!

I often wonder if Hermione would become a huge nag and how Ron could ever stand that, for instance).

I wrote a Hermione/Draco fic that looks at Hermione and Ron's relationship a couple of decades down the road. It's terribly sad, but I can't see it happening any other way (and not that I tried to demonize Ron at all, because I actually like Ron a tremendous amount). It's call "The Politician's Wife" if you're interested.

e.: tie the ocean to your kneesmadeofsequins on December 14th, 2012 06:59 pm (UTC)
Utterly fantastic.
pir8fancier on January 23rd, 2013 05:21 am (UTC)
Thank you!
germankitty: hp makeovergermankitty on December 14th, 2012 07:39 pm (UTC)
I'm usually not a fan of first-person stories, but your Draco captured me pretty early on. I love the way how honest he is with himself and others -- and how Astoria isn't bedeviled. He goes through an emotional period in his life, and is taking the reader along over every bump and dip.

I'm also not particularly fond of open endings, but you imbued it with just enough hope to make it bearable.

Wonderful job, mystery author!
pir8fancier on January 23rd, 2013 05:21 am (UTC)
Yeah, I know it's problematic for a lot of people. But this is the way I hear him in my head. I've gotten to the point where I can't write him any other way. Thanks for sticking with it!
(no subject) - germankitty on January 24th, 2013 07:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
Truthful Plum Logical Horsemegyal on December 14th, 2012 09:30 pm (UTC)
Really enjoyed Draco's voice and his POV; also loved the pairings!
pir8fancier on January 23rd, 2013 05:20 am (UTC)
Thank you!
call me trys: me myself and Itryslora on December 14th, 2012 10:08 pm (UTC)
I think my favorite moment had to be when Scorpius and Draco were talking, with the whole "That'd be a bit rich" statement. Lovely fic, very well done. Kudos!
pir8fancier on January 23rd, 2013 05:20 am (UTC)
Yeah, I loved writing that scene. It just basically wrote itself. Thanks!
welcome to villa cariño!capitu on December 15th, 2012 12:03 am (UTC)

This was wonderful. I loved it. I couldn't stop reading it. I loved to see this side of Draco, the changes from the boy he was to the man he became. I loved this view of Draco and Astoria's marriage. I loved her, how you wrote her and gave her such an important part of the man he turned to be. I loved how much he tried for Scorpius.

You have been a wonderful father. He might not recognize it now, but I believe he will eventually.”

And I can see that. It's not just a line there, you wrote it just so that I can see one day Scorpius will know this and be thankful and admire Draco.

I loved Harry. The bastard. He was perfect. I loved that he was twice the bastard, first for even thinking and planning what he did, and then for having those damn eyes and wearing his heart on them.

The sex, well, damnit! It wasn't even about the smut, but it was sexy, and meaningful, and touching and intense. You surprised me. You surprised me with Harry and with Draco, because neither acted as I thought. I mean, it didn't happen what I thought it would, at the end it did, but in a different way, a better way, a more interesting way. Loved that.

And that ending! It went perfectly with the fic. This was truly a joy to read. Thank you for this amazing ride.
pir8fancier on January 23rd, 2013 05:20 am (UTC)
You have been a wonderful father. He might not recognize it now, but I believe he will eventually

I think that as the reader, we really DO need to believe that because it's precisely why I think Draco is redeemable or, more to the point, why he is capable of redeeming himself.

bernerbaer: pic#119359574bernerbaer on December 15th, 2012 12:04 am (UTC)
Now, this is the real thing. A grown up HD fic for grown ups. Because even though we might be hopeless romantics (we love fanfic, what more to say), life is just fucking complicated. You managed to somehow do both at the same time, be mature and starry eyed at the same time.
pir8fancier on January 23rd, 2013 05:18 am (UTC)
Wow, what a WONDERFUL compliment. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
fantasyfiend09: Rain Postcard Red Rahlfantasyfiend09 on December 15th, 2012 02:11 am (UTC)
Wow. That was quite an emotional journey I just went through in Draco's shoes. I usually prefer 3rd person, but the narrative was perfect for this story. You took us inside Draco's heart and mind so that we experienced his feelings as if they were our own. I think I need a drink.

The thing that struck me most about this story was the realism. Your characters were flawed and they hurt each other, but they were trying. They were working hard to make their imperfect relationships work. It was both sad and hopeful. I like how you left this open because life does not offer any promises.

This was a beautiful and thoughtful story.
fantasyfiend09: Rain Postcard Red Rahlfantasyfiend09 on December 16th, 2012 12:48 am (UTC)
The next day, I am still thinking about this story. I loved the way Draco divided his hate mail between those with reason to hate him and bigots not worth his time. I loved his little speech to Harry about being normal. I also loved that your depiction of marriage is so much more complex than simply love or lust. I was so happy that the difference between Harry's relationship with Ginny and his one with Draco was more than genitalia. Epilogue-compliant H/D fics are not satisfying for me if the only thing Draco has over Ginny is a penis. I want to feel that it's about who Draco is, not just what's between his legs and how flat his chest is.

As I said, this is beautiful and thoughtful.
(no subject) - pir8fancier on January 23rd, 2013 05:17 am (UTC) (Expand)
calmnla: pansiescalmnla on December 15th, 2012 07:05 pm (UTC)
Draco is rueful in his reflections. Honesty is his new middle name. I am intrigued that not only did we see him reflecting on the distance between his childhood self and his adult-who-actually-lucked-out self, but to my surprise we got to see him reflecting on all that was wrong with that adult life as he moved into a better one. Such a well-done middle-aged life shift. It is true, many people marry their opposites and learn what can be learned from each other, but then meet someone similar to themselves in mid-life. That used to be the stuff of tragedies. Now that it is possible to divorce and still become President or Minister for Magic and so on, this is just the stuff of stories of true love, intrepid emotional adventures, and coming to terms with balding.

I want to acknowledge the gems scattered throughout the adventure you give us. Draco seeing the end of the Malfoy line. Eh. Draco being reminded of childhood friend at dinner table when dragon babies are feeding. Draco's wise words about alcohol overuse, and how he knows what he is talking about - and Lucius was not a CHEAP drunk! The decor Astoria provided. The morning interaction between Astoria and Draco. I don't mean to sound like a storyboard, and so though I could go on, I won't. It's just that I feel I learned some useful ideas about being human, and those came from you. So thanks for those.
pir8fancier on January 23rd, 2013 05:15 am (UTC)
There is a point, it's at different times for different people, but I would say that in my late 30's I came to grips with many relationships in my life. At a certain point it's not like you have a bunch of epiphanies. It's more that you have enough of life's experiences under your belt that you gain insight into yourself and others. It's both a relief and a burden (sometimes a little innocence and self-delusion is very welcome). It really is about coming to terms with being bald. That as good a metaphor as any! Thanks!